$%#@%@s Want To Die
Feel free to add whichever word you feel is appropriate in the title.
I came to a startling conclusion on the way home today: it’s not me.
I’ve been under the impression all week that I was just pissed off and bitter with life and people because Jolene is in Africa. And yes, I am pissed off and bitter about that, however that is only a small part.
I was assuming that the events which were unfolding in my life were because I was upset.
- The parents who were posted up in the office as if they were going to fight me. (Literally)
- The student who suddenly won’t SHUT THE HELL UP in class
- The teacher who is talking $hit about me to his students during class
- The former principal, who is evil, and was fired, coming in the building to yell at one of my kids.
- The morons who don’t study and then fail
- The piss poor student presentation that took place today, with an even worse excuse.
Then it hit me: no. Those things were not caused by me being bitter. They were caused by stupid people.
Yes, how I choose to respond to them is at issue, with all love, grace, mercy, turning of cheeks, meekness, baseball bats, or screaming. My reaction to said events is ALL about me, and my bitterness might come into play then, but the events themselves, no.
This was a large weight off the shoulders.
Thankfully I have good students and co-workers who keep me grounded.
. . . And help me plan my various forms of payback.
“marriage” And “weddings”
Jolene is in Africa. She has posted a question/comment about the nature of marriage in a different cultural setting. (Read about that here)
There has been various comments about the differences between marriage and weddings as cultural or divinely inspired events. As a philosophy and sociology teacher who was raised as a theologian, I can’t help myself.
Yes, there is a difference between wedding ceremonies and marriages. The ceremony itself is a cultural phenomenon, and is a completely subjective expression of a culture’s mores. However, as a Christian it is easy to quote various OT and NT passages to say that marriage is a divine institution, and thus all cultures should adapt to a ‘biblical’ world view. This of course negates, or at least forgets about the fact that the bible was written in different cultures and at different times.
People need to be careful not to say “one husband/one wife” and cite the bible. Some of those passages refer specifically to church leaders, esp in the NT. Others are within the OT culture, which, being semitic, practiced multiple marriages. All of the patriarchs had multiple wives, not to mention the kings. The Jewish concept at the time (just like the Arab, Persian, Mormon, as well as most of the other polygamous cultures of today) was that you can have as many wives, and children, as you are able to support, love and care for.
There are two obvious ‘good chrisitan’ replies to this:
1. But those are heathens or OT Jews and we have a new order with Jesus, so ignore them.
And
2. The NT paints the picture of marriage as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
RE: 1 ~ Seriously?
RE: 2 ~ How is many spouses that you care for to the best of your ability against the love of Christ for the chruch? How are the passages in Ephesians negated by a husband giving himself for more than one wife, or a wife loving more than one husband. Isn’t Christ the “Groom” and the Church the “Bride”? Aren’t there a lot of us in the Church who Christ loves equally, and gave Himself for equally, even though we say that we collectively make up the “Bride?”
My point is NOT to advocate polygamy in general.
However when we are talking about how we present the Gospel to another culture which has already been screwed over by bad cultural theology from previous missionaries, who did not take the time to learn the culture that they are interacting with, before they told them to change their culture to be “biblical” (i.e. on God’s good side), I think the original assumptions of what really IS ‘biblical’ should be addressed, esp before we claim that the Western ideals are ‘godly’ because we use the bible to proof-text our position.
/end rant.
Comments welcome.
Two School Poems
Figured I should post something more cheerful these days. Not to mention, I’m a writer.
[Both subject to revision until they are published
sloth
for Vickie
she ran up on his car:
saw his fear. once
in the arm, twice
in the leg. his limp
& withered wave:
a badge of honor
earned. he raped her
three times. Shorty
should have killed him.
————-
Hide and Seek
eventually she ran before the counting began
anticipating her uncle’s words. the screeching
of tires. she hid in the bathroom.
the closet was no good: too easily caught.
besides, the tub’s chipped porcelain
could stop bullets intended for her brother
or mother.
It’s 3am I Must Be Lonely
Actually, it’s 6:20am. Still seems fitting. I just dropped Jolene off at the airport. So she can go to Africa. For a year. F_ck it. I’ve got nothing to say.
“I try to pick the right words to say to the sky
Some days I would try but wasn’t able to cry
I never been good at saying goodbye
I take a deep breath when the times is hard
When I reminisce over you, my god . . .
The scent of a room that reminds me of you
A hint of perfume it remind me of you
Take a look at the moon it remind me of you
Hope the stars and god align me and you.”
~ Common, “I want you”
Happy Bday To Me(h)
So much to say.
Back from Boston. Got my Colorado driver’s License after much drama. Hate this state.
Today, for my birthday, I got breakfast in bed, presents, went out and treated myself to a few new toys, might buy more tomorrow. Ended up on a double-date with one of my former students, recorded some music, lounged around . . . good day.
Pictures of drive-by Boston. <-Clicky
Pictures of other things bought for me, and for myself.
Music I recently recorded:
Roar (Acoustic) ~ Recorded while in Boston during Christmas
Roar (Full) ~ Recorded in Denver on my Birthday (needs work)
Funis getting old. 28