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This Just Made Me All Kinds Of Happy
added: 6/20/08
Just Enough
This has thus far been the best start to the summer, ever. As I type this my cynical/realistic side knows that the plagues are now on their way, but no matter.
Over the past two weeks I have gotten to do what I’ve wanted to for quite some time: spend some non-school, just talking and hanging out, quality time with some of my little bros and sisters who just graduated. That’s happened in spades. Pun intended.
I live at Barnesbucks and Starbles (as I like to call that vile merger of books and caffeine) reading, writing, working on my masters and people watching. Thus, my kids know where to find me. They show up in ones and twos, last night in fives, and we sit and chat, wander the store making book recommendations, and being idiots until we get kicked out at closing. Getting caught up on summer plans, college plans, weddings (yeah, I know), family, church, and all the rest. Watching life lessons I’ve taught them over the past four years sinking in as they are now in “the real world.” The “so what do you REALLY believe Henry?” conversations abound. The confusion or smiles at hearing that I am a bible reading and preaching Christian. Invites to their churches, or questions about faith and practice in general from someone they trust and don’t think is utterly batshit for loving that dead Jewish guy who got killed hanging from a large, wooden plus sign.
Sometimes we get coffee. Sometimes we do breakfast, or lunch, or dinner. Sometimes we wander around Walmart. Or steal fallen street signs from the middle of the road. I mean ‘move street signs out of the middle of the road because they are a hazard to other people.’ (Yeah) But mostly we just do life together. Watching them become adults, and me pretending that I am one. They give me hope for this world; just enough to keep on.Just enough.
Sign Of Life (excerpt)
I’m really lazy, but I’ve got some time. Been meaning to record this song for a couple of years, but like I said, I’m lazy.
So, I recorded part of the bridge and the chorus and that is all.
In the morning a red sky cries a warning
That a sailor should know –
How could I have missed the signs so?
On your seas I was tossed
As your heart blew across and over me
The coldest wind and I was lost
You would have let me drown
When I was failing around
Well I can tread for so long
But how I prayed for a calm
And you say a rescue doesn’t make a good song
So I’m looking for a sign of life -
Oh please could you throw me a line
Or at least a lie?
And I’m looking for a sign of life.
I see that branch in your hand:
Don’t you understand
I’m going under again?
Suicide King
Figured I should finish this, even if completely and utterly different than how it started.
So how is my fault when you held all of the cards
And doubled down on the two of hearts?
You’re digging for diamonds
And maybe you’ll find them, one day
When you stop wielding love like a club.
Would you want me to place that bet
When I can’t see more than half the deck?
I’m willing, not able to go before I’m set.
But you say that we must ante up until we bust,
But I’m sorry, so sorry; I cannot stay in this rut;
I’ve had enough, but I wish you good luck
On your next run baby.
Our coffer’s dry, unlike my eyes
But you can’t see you’re bankrupting we.
And this debt we’ve raised I just can’t pay
So thankfully, as they say
I know when to hold them; know when to fold them
So I’m walking away with more than a little change
And you can stay for another run,
But after this hand my game is done.
So how is it my fault . . .
One more thing: how were you betting with chips that you didn’t bring?
One more thing: were you expecting me to be your suicide king?