Got To Tell Them Soon
Sitting at my desk, after school, attempting to write a quiz on Dante’s Inferno, a kid walked into my room. Not one of mine, directly, but one who has enough tangential points of connection, that she’s one of “mine” ad hoc.
She was asking if I would be a judge for the talent show. It’s like American Idol and they generally want me to be Simon and Randy at the same time: Randy’s niceness and skin tone, Simon’s attitude and accent. However I am always told to be more Randy. “Don’t make anyone cry.”
The dates of this year’s show is while I will be out of town at a wedding so I had to decline. Actually, this made me a bit sad. I was already thinking of the talent show in the back of my mind, and whether I would just judge, or be in it like I have in the past. (There’s a video of said performance somewhere on this site). I enjoy the time with my kids, and their talents, and lack thereof, and at the very least it is a chance for me to use my creative language skills to find something good to say about everyone. I was sad to think I wouldn’t be able to do it. What she said in response with be sadder.
“Oh. People will be sad. You’re breaking tradition.”
That pretty much stopped me cold. I’ve been a judge since I’ve been in the building. Every year, it’s expected that I will do it, amoung the other things I do. She’s probably right: other kids will be upset. Not only will I not judge, I won’t be there. But then things got worse.
“So which one of your classes should I take next year.”
Before I was even able to begin thinking “wow, last year was my last year to do it” she asked this. She’s an AP student and opted for the AP Eng lit class this year instead of my World Lit class, but apparently arranged her schedule so she could be in both AP and one of my Senior Seminar classes her final year. Now on the surface this makes her crazy. Kids switch out of my class for AP because my class is too hard. We do not encourage people doing both. She even admits being scared to take one my classes. Why:
Kid: “Everyone says you class is hard.”
MEH: “I make people work, and some people don’t like that. Tough luck for them.”
Kid: “No. I’m a straight A student. The people I’ve talked to say that you make them question everything they’ve ever believed and they have to figure everything about themselves and their lives all over again.”
MEH: “Oh. Well yes. That’s fun. I’m evil.”
Kid: “So which class should I sign up for?”
This whole exchange nearly broke my heart. How do I say “sign up for whatever you want: I won’t be here, and I have no idea who will teach it. Furthermore, whoever does, will not do it ANYWHERE near the way I did it, because they are not qualified (I’m the only philosophy/ethics nerd who teaches seniors in the district), or because they are afraid to tackle the topics we do right now.”
There will be more conversations like this in the near future as schedules are worked out for next year. There is a grip of kids who I have right now who want to be in my class next year. Who have friends or siblings who have taken my class and want in to finally get what others have talked about. One of my boys is the third son in the family and I’ve had both his older brothers. One of my former students brought her baby by and wanted to know if I would stick around (a mere 15 years) and have her daughter in class.
Can’t lie to them, so evade the question or at least answering for the time being. But I’m leaving. No question. I’m out. But I’ve got to figure out a way to let them know. Timing and all that. Esp. with my dept. head’s prediction that I’m going to have a bunch of really pissed off/crying students on my hands when I do. The end of this year is going to be great.
:(
Comments
3 Responses to “Got To Tell Them Soon”
Leave a Reply
Life without you is hard. I feel for your kids.
Telling the boss is fun. Facing kids will be hard. I’m dreading this too.
This was difficult for me to even read. I was going to write something cheesy about a pledge of moral support, etc, but I don’t think it would work. So I’ll just leave you with my agreement: this sucks.
Told one of my former students today when she visited after school. She did the “congratulations” thing, but only after she was sure she wasn’t going to start crying. Yeah.
Now I have to process the kids who have already graduated who expect me to be in my room whenever they come to visit, or run into me at Barnesbucks and Starbles.
Three came to visit after school today and one sent me a random email.
ugh