Diner, My Shiny, Shiny Love
Went back to the diner last night/this morning. So I have new insight:
* There is nothing wrong with walking around with your knife; you never know when you might need it.
* You will always be surrounded by reasons to kick your students in their collective arses so they will graduate.
* Don’t spill BBQ sauce on papers you are grading.
* Tunes from the 70s and 80s can bring you places you never knew you had forgotten. Just don’t sing outloud.
* Leave a $5 tip on a $10 bill.
New Lessons From The Diner:
* There will always be a Bible study for mentally delayed people at some point during your stay. Don’t be surprised when they are using the NIV.
(Note for the sensitive and politically correct: I’m 100% serious about NIV Bible study for mentally challenged people. Completely. Just didn’t mention them last time).
* Bacon, cheese fries, with ketchup, covers all of the four basic food groups.
* If your bill was $5.12, and you only have $4 in your wallet, pay with a credit/debit card, and leave the all the cash as a tip, esp. is the waitress was really nice. Don’t wait around to see her reaction.
* ‘Red-necks’ come in all colors.
For the last diner lessons, click here.
Eating Late
All night dinners attract a certain clientèle: not sure why this is surprising.
If you decide to dine after midnight, while grading of course, you will enter a world of enigmatic absurdities, which may remind the teacher in you why get up every morning: I refuse to allow my kids to become one of “THEM.”
Pearls of nightwalker wisdom:
* Co-dependance is an example of people needing to pop a pill to solve their problems.
* Your intelligence is indirectly inversely proportional to the number of times you can say ‘fuck’ loudly in mixed company.
* If you don’t watch your bacon, it might be gone. Real bacon. Pig bacon. There is no metaphor.
* This sentence is acceptable: “Your head looks like a big tit. What would you do if I kissed you right now?”
* No matter how old/young you are, everyone is a potential date.
* No matter how fat you are, the motorized Big Bird ride will accommodate you.
* No matter how pink you are, your neck could be red-er.
It’s almost 1am. So I had to get out. 2 1/2 hours was enough.
I’m sure I’ll be a regular customer.